Seriously injure yourself assembling IKEA furniture? Check. Beam with pride at your half-furnished apartment because it’s yours and that’s what matters? Check. Watch Friends and feel personally lied to because life isn’t that way? Check. Be irrationally pleased with yourself for having a fully stocked kitchen and making a meal that you didn’t have the space or time for in college? Check. Cry in the bathroom when your first day of work is so much harder than anticipated, get it together and head back out there because the only way it’ll get better is by working harder? Check. Feel poured into and uplifted by friends you thought would surely find someone closer and better to text? Check. 

“It’s all messy: the bed, the hair, the words, the heart. Life.”

Life is not a sitcom, it’s not a romcom. It holds no filter, either sepia or perpentua, and it’s full of little surprises—unwrapping a mug you thought you’d lost, unexpected tears when you’re not ready for them, flat tires and dance parties for one. It’s not a dramatic arching saga, it’s a march of poetic normalcy.

And yet it’s complicated. It’s feeling things you said you never would and finding yourself lost in the thoughts and dreams you never counted yourself to be vulnerable to. Far be it from me to decide whether life’s a bed of roses or thorns…but maybe it’s a bed of rosemary or blood oranges. It’s not that life can’t have a bow tied around it, it’s that that now is burlap and not satin—it’s rough and a little harder to work with, but pretty in its own way. Palm trees decorate a room better than any Manet or Monet, and losing your duvet means getting to pile on the blankets you bought as accents. 70 lb dogs that think they can fit in your lap are better friends than most, but then we all have those people who deserve the moon and the Pleides. Messiness is neither goal nor sin, just a biproduct of fullness, or excessive emptiness, and is indicative more than anything else. After all, beauty is in simplicity: of speech, heart, and mind, as well as evening gowns and bouquets.

3 thoughts on “messy 

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