rock and refuge

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62:5-8

Sometimes, I think it’s enough to wait on God in spans of minutes. To have my quiet time in the morning, to listen to praise music instead of Hamilton, to say an extra prayer, and not just when I’m about to eat or sleep. I tell myself that if I do x, y, and z, then I am waiting for God, and I’m a good and patient Christian. I get focused on a checklist of Christian disciplines, and forget a tiny, little (neither of those adjectives actually apply) aspect of my walk with God: the continuity.

It’s not about the frequency with which I read my Bible. It’s the way that the Word I read lingers in my mind. It’s not that I’m somehow holier because I listen to Hillsong on my way into work, it’s that the truth in “The day and its trouble shall come / I know that Your strength is enough / The scandal of grace, You died in my place / so my soul will live”  washes over my life, and affects how I live. It’s not about a verbose prayer, it’s about when I’m not actively praying, if my thoughts and mind still honor God. The Christian lifestyle is not supposed to be a collection of moments where heaven parts and a beacon of sunlight falls on me like a halo, and I feel holy. The Christian life is marked by unswerving, persistent, continuous, unvarying mindfulness of the character of Christ, and how I am being transformed into His likeness.

What if I stopped dividing my life into ‘Time with God’ and ‘Things I Have to Do’? What if every moment, I was cognizant of the miracle of grace? What if my quiet time, my worship time, my prayer time weren’t the only times I acted in awareness of the presence of my Creator and King?

When God created me, it wasn’t so I could live two lives, one holding His hand, and one waving from a distance.

I’m not saying that there’s something wrong with watching a video of British Shorthairs being their adorable, chunky selves, or rooting for your football team, or going to IKEA for six hours because it’s your happy place (guilty, guilty, and lol SO guilty). I’m saying there’s a problem when those things take the place of God in my life. When my heart waits on things other than God—when I am filled by friends, by Broadway, by anything other than my sweet Savior—then I am not living my fullest.

Do you ever wonder at the availability of God? The One who scattered stars like petals down an aisle on the day of a wedding, He listens to the beat of my heart. The One whose creativity was not exhausted by the infinite intricacies of cells and oceans, microorganisms and savannas, He smiles at the sound of my laugh. The One who paints each sunset with colors so inimitable, this same Lord longs for the attention of my heart.

And for yours.

We are not loved by a distant God, but by One who so wanted communion with us that He sent His son to pay for our mistakes, our foolishness, our rebellion, so we could spend eternity with Him. The life that is convicted and molded by this Truth speaks much more loudly than an aptly timed prayer, or a well-worded praise song.The Psalmist says to trust in Him at all times, to rest in the refuge of His love. To be protected, to let Him be your Rock and your Salvation. It’s not just moments of godliness that bring us closer to heaven, but constant rest and restoration from God.

Give the Lord your hopes and dreams and hurts and fears and the things you think anyone else would laugh at. The things no one could possible understand, give them to the One who created Your heart. Let Him be your defender, let Him be your protector. Find your expectation—your hope, your satisfaction, your contentment—in Him. There is no safer refuge, no trustier confidant, no firmer foundation, than Jesus.

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